Anaisa Castillo, Staff Writer

When confidence subsides and question rises, it  always becomes a matter of time before one submerges in self sabotage. Not the kind of confidence that comes from self love and appreciation. But the confidence that allows for security in a certain given title. The issue is the cure. Being so much described as a disease, I’m sure you’ll agree soon. When this confidence is gone, or is on its way to a permanent departure, we’re faced with the need for reassurance. Problem being, it ceases to work after a given time. Its failure to soothe the mind leaving the ongoing thoughts to grow in both size and strength. A constant growth that never reaches a max but rather one’s ability to withstand them. Coming down to one, and only one outcome. Another departure, though one of a different kind. A departure from being in a loved ones life, we force ourselves to distance and forget this person in thinking this was done in “preparation”. Preparation for being replaced or forgotten, so we initiate this process, leaving question to our loved one, “what did I do?”. And in truth, nothing. What’s funny about this is, we caused the exact outcome we feared from the beginning. It was done by oneself, because of believing the thoughts that told us it was happening to or was bound to. To think such a way comes with the outcome feared. It’s in fact, and not in surprise that we are to blame. From an over thinker to another, when thinking becomes a habit and ritual, there’s no amount of reassurance that can suffice. Nor is there a distraction from this botherance. Instead, seek to silence them in every way possible. Because when reassurance no longer suffices, it’s now a battle for survival. Refuse to let the once silenced lies dictate your beliefs and life. We can no longer let and allow ourselves to corrupt whatever good we have in both ourselves and our surroundings. These thoughts create victims, and later prodigy’s of sorrow, learning to live in constant fear without trust and an unwillingness to allow connections once again. So once more, refuse to submit and believe.