The First Last Night

Shannon Marks, Staff writer

The following content may be too intense for some readers and can be triggering, audience discretion is advised.  

Thrills and chills are everywhere when Halloween comes around the corner. No one ever wonders why so much fear comes with the season because it’s simply culture now to be scared on Halloween. As I lay here, on the floor of this cold and dark hall, I know what those words really mean. 

Being idiotic never resulted in anything great. Although, that’s what really kindles the thrills.

Adrenaline rushed through my whole body and I couldn’t stop myself. At my age, there were no exceptions or excuses for me. I was being stupid; I was being dumb. I was doing everything I shouldn’t have, and now I feel the chills.

Everyone ran at the first crack of the shot. They all left me to wither away and be forgotten. The chills crept up on me; they surrounded my entire body. I lay here on the cold dark floor and realize what the end really is.

I should have never pushed her too far; if only I knew it wasn’t just a cosplay prop. It makes me realize, though, that I must be more careful with what I say. 

The shot rang throughout the entire hall and the lights all went out for a moment. Red ran rampant across a vast majority of the floor and I could hear the screams that soon came after. Not even a friend came to help me up, to get me back on my feet. The white dress that I wore currently was a new violent red. 

My eyes start to get heavy and I can’t feel anything other than stabbing pain. 

“You shot her! What did you do?!” someone screams, seeing my body.

They too run away.

After that, a new feeling swept over me. Sadness. No one wanted to help me. No one cared. I was all alone because I am an idiotic jerk.

Thrills and chills is what they say arrives when Halloween comes around the corner. There’s no more thrills but just cold chills as my life started to leave me.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper as I close my eyes, taking a deep and sorrowful breath. “I’m sorry.” I repeat.

“There she is! Someone call-” but nothing’s left. All the sounds cut right out and there’s nothing left to hear.

All I wish now is to live again and be nice to all my peers. 

Life soon awakens, although I’m not myself. I haven’t reached the afterlife but I am surely dead.

“You are not dead, yet, but just you wait, for in due time comes the deciding fate.” Someone calls from afar. 

I turn to see who it is and to my surprise, it’s a mere reflection of myself.

“What do you mean?” I ask the reflection of myself, not wanting to hear the answer.

“You know what it means. You’re not worthy to go back yet. You’ve lived a life of hate. But even if you try to change, you might just be too late.”

I cannot argue. It’s just the truth. I have been a horrible human being.

“I want to change! Give me the chance! Let me go live again and I will show you!” I tell my reflection.

“I wish I could, but if you do, the only person that will matter again is you. You cannot change – it’s just too much for you to handle. Your life will burn out again, as a small candle.”

Such honest truths, but I must go back!

“But if I do go back, it won’t only be me. It will be me and you. We’re one in the same, can’t you see? I’m only looking at who I want to be.” I tell myself back into the window at the reflection that is myself.

A short but spacious pause soon follows up until she talks again.

“You cannot trick me anymore. You will still be just as before. That night was your last, now say goodbye. Your living body will soon die.”

Now I’m angry with myself. I will go back if it’s the last thing I do. 

My fists were balled up to the point my knuckles turned white. I’m ready to strike the window but a small call inside of me tells me not to. I lower my hand and look at the window.

“If I must remain in this strange place, let me stay, but I have warned you, you will have to deal with me for eternity.”

The reflection of myself looked at me with absolute horror and a new idea popped into my mind.

“You will have to suffer through all of the pains that are myself, and you will have to endure the different questions, comments, and actions that I will ask, tell, and do to you.” I explained, starting to gain respect for myself.

My reflection looks horrified now. Realizing what I could do and what I could say, she processed my dangerous threat.

  “You shall go back, but remember this, you will never end and death you will miss.” They told me without another word.

My eyes close and I feel surrounded. I was choking and being compressed into a worthless nothingness.

My eyes then open suddenly and light consumes my eyes. Muffled noise fills my ears and that cold sensation surrounds my face.

“She’s awake! Get help!” Someone screams over all of the different noises around.

I shake my head and sit up straight. I look around and chaos is just what I see. The area around me had been riddled with blood. The girl I had pushed too far lay there, dead, with the gun she shot me with in her lifeless hand.

I look at my hand. They’re covered in the staining, bright blood.

“You need to lay back down.” Someone tells me.

I look at them. They’re covered in red as well, from trying to aid either me or the other girl.

“I’m fine though.” I told them.

They look away and start to yell at others.

“She’s in denial! Where is that ambulance?” 

Someone new comes up to me. “How many fingers am I holding up?” She asked.

I counted them all and told her three. 

“She’s getting better.” She called, standing up and walking away.

I stood up as well and looked around. Everything was broken and displaced more than it was when the party started.

“You need to lay down!” the same person barked at me.

I looked at them. “I’m fine.” I said, in a harsher tone.

Then someone swiped at my neck and darkness was all I could see.

I ended up waking up in a hospital five hours later, and they told me that despite the immense loss of blood, I was in unnaturally good health. I went home after that, in my blood soaked dress and my parents picked me up. They gave me everything after that. 

The years went on though, and to my surprise, people who had seen me well, tried to harm me, too. Days after they tried, though, they perished from this place. They all died in the same ways they tried to kill me. Stabbing, mugging, and shooting. They were all my friends.

More years went on and when I reached eighty four, I still looked like I was eighteen. In those years, I tried to die more than I tried to live, even though life was what I had wanted.

People ask me, knowing who I am and what happened to me, what my secret was and what I want the most. This is what I tell them:

“I looked in the mirror and asked for life but what I wish for now is for that first last night to be my end.”