Disneyland gets Vaccinated


Photoshop by Kelly Zarate

The characters of Disneyland get vaccinated as they prepare to open up the park.

Spencer Gorka, The Scroll, Staff Writer

As the world is slowly getting vaccinated for the Coronavirus, Disneyland is preparing to open on April 1, 2021. However, to protect the incoming guests of the Magic Kingdom, Disney officials have requested all staff and characters to get vaccinated. This will prevent an outbreak and keep everyone who enters the gates safe from contamination. A few characters have spoken out about their recent vaccination and have brought out their opinions on the matter, as The Scroll makes a park tour for these preparations.

Starting on Main Street USA, Abraham Lincoln begins his great speech in the theater with the security of medicine that he has never seen before. Lincoln recalls, “Of all the great years that I have had the pleasure of living and speaking on this stage before you, I have never once held this great immunity to a giant of death. I have taken this vaccine not just by the recommendation of the Disney personnel, but with the people of America in mind. I feel free of fear and I will stand forevermore in front of the great audience of my pupils. God bless you all and let freedom ring!” Lincoln is a proud leader and firm godly man. His wish is to speak freedom and hope for all those hurting souls in our country. He will do it again when those grand gates open again after more than a year of closure.

Walking down the street and into Tomorrowland, we find Buzz Lightyear and Nemo talking to us about their experiences and wishes for the future. Buzz Lightyear speaks to us first. “I was at first opposed to this vaccine. I knew that my body could withstand the virus even without the vaccine, but no matter what my own personal opinion was, I had to take the vaccine to continue my appearance in Tomorrowland, just like the teachers did. After getting the series of shots, I had some bad side effects. They were a combination of my wings getting jammed or strange plastic bubbles or even a Spanish speaking malfunction in my circuits. But they quickly went away after I had gotten some help. I am doing very well now and am fully healthy for the reopening. I am ready to welcome my comrades to help me defeat Zerg. To infinity and beyond!” 

Nemo gave a good explanation as well. He said, “It was of my father’s recommendation. I just followed with what he said and I believe we are all set for our next voyage together. Give some fin! Dude!” All is going well in the rest of Tomorrowland.

Into Fantasyland, the yeti, who also goes by The Bumble, has told us a little bit about himself too. He said, “AGNAH BLARG PLARG!” Which translates to, “It was very unpleasant but I feel very good and strong!” He was very enthusiastic about his actions for safety that he almost ate us. Nobody was hurt during this interview, thankfully.

As Toontown comes into view, Mickey and Minnie Mouse have given us a great meal and conversation about their vaccination. Mickey starts, “Although we have been doing fine ourselves, we thought it ought to be wise to take the correct precautions for this big event. The opening of Disneyland was originally a huge deal, but after over 60 almost 70 years of being a great success, it’s going to be more than anyone could even imagine. That’s why Disney is doing this. For the people and citizens of Disneyland.” 

Minnie went on to say, “And we are glad to have anyone over. We are safe people to talk to and be around. Take a picture with us and, as always, smile!” Toontown has never been a happier place.

In Galaxy’s Edge, we sought out an interview from both Luke Skywalker and Rey. However, after asking about and wandering, Darth Vader, with his fleet of stormtroopers, forced us out of the land. No opinions were found in that corner of the park.

As we found our way into Frontierland, we met some very friendly people including Woody and Jessie. Woody talked to us as he practiced with his lasso. “I trust the vaccine. It may be a little early in the run, but there really isn’t anything we can do otherwise. If I can get better and protect my folks, then I’ll get the vaccine on their behalf.” Jessie agreed with her friend and rode her way around the Rivers of America.

In Adventureland, Indiana Jones came out from the temple to give us his word of affirmation. Dr. Jones concluded, “In the end, we will most certainly be protected by the virus, even if this round won’t do it quite yet. Disneyland is our home and we let guests come in to enjoy themselves at the Happiest Place On Earth. Why shouldn’t we be at least safe with how we open? I’d like to think of it in that sense.” As quickly as he had come out, he ran back into the temple to stop the idol’s wicked schemes.

Walking down the road with the wafting smell of delicious creole food, we entered New Orleans Square. We came upon the old Victorian mansion which was supposedly haunted by the grim grinning ghosts, and walked inside. We met the Ghost Host and a couple other spirits that seemed to have been enjoying themselves. The Ghost Host gave us a debriefing of his own experience with this situation. “Because we are ghosts in these halls, we need no vaccine. We are not alive, so why should we have to take something that won’t affect us at all?” The other ghosts agreed and went on their merry way.

Down the beaten path to Critter Country, we met with both Brer Rabbit and Pooh Bear. Brer Rabbit didn’t care much for the vaccine saying, “Everyday is a Zip-a-Dee-doo-Dah day! If we get a vaccine, then there won’t be any of those laughing places left for us to go to. That is all to be said.” And with that, he hopped away into the great waterfalls of Splash Mountain.

 Pooh Bear said it a little differently. He said, “Oh dear me. I did take the vaccine but it didn’t do much. I am just a stuffed bear after all. So are the rest of my friends. However, we want everyone, including Christopher Robin, safe from harm.” Pooh’s friends were waiting outside for him and agreed to his statement. They believed that this was all for the best and just wanted their friends to come back and play with them once again.

As we headed back to the Disneyland Train Station, we concluded that everyone in the park, no matter if they are staff or characters, have many different views on the decision of the vaccine. However, they obliged to the decision and took the vaccine so that opening could go on as scheduled. Everyone who enters the park will be safe and no outbreaks will occur.

Be ready to enter the park once more on April 1, 2021!


April Fools! All stories published today on The Scroll are satire. None of the facts, quotes, or details in the story above are true and should not be taken as fact.